The Boring HamHam School
by Tsuki-no-Kurokage
Summary: 2nd in my Purifiers saga, Stan gets kicked out of a certain school and gets sent to a normal school. Will he be able to survive the boredom of the normal life? And what's with Nurseham? Title may change and rating may go up.


The Boring Ham-Ham School

Author's Note: I am back with my first oneshot! I hope everyone will like it, especially lupyne who was so kind to PM me yesterday and congratulating me on completing **Led to This**. Enough said. I present to you **The Boring Ham-Ham School**!

Disclaimer: I only own Pokémon nicknames, my made-up characters, the schools and the Purifiers. Oh, I may not be the owner of Nurseham but I definitely own her 'suicide'. Go, Nurseham haters! 

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"WHAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT??????!!!!!!" Stan screeched at the top of his voice. He was in his room, reading the mail he had received. He was reading the other letters quietly but after reading his last one, this screeching happened.

"Stan, don't yell at the top of your voice!" Amma shouted to him. "You know how much that'll hurt your voice! And you are acting like your father! Cut it out!!"

Stan rolled his eyes at that statement. Sure, Tora may be gone forever but Stan makes everyone else believe otherwise since he is just like Tora. Stan didn't really hate Siberia that much now, come to think of it. His heartache has stopped as well after his father's death 4 ½ years ago. Stan was sent for psychiatric help every once in a while, though.

Anyway, at first, Stan was sent to this school called Cipher Ciphy School, a school that is invisible to normal hamsters but visible to special yet normal-looking hamsters. Obviously, the Cipher organization built Cipher Ciphy School. Why Stan was sent to that school when he's a Purifier, you ask? Stan is only serving as an undercover student there and tries to spoil Cipher's plans from there. The students are taught many evil things like how Pokémon should be used as tools for battling and such but Stan strongly disapproves of that. Because of his pure heart, Stan was sent to Cipher Ciphy School as an undercover student. He was sure he wouldn't be discovered, yet…

"Amma, I can't help it!" Stan replied back. "I got this letter from Cipher Ciphy School and guess what?!"

"What? Were you kicked out?"

"… Yes. Are you happy **_now_**?" Stan didn't hear anything for a while but then he got yells of joy and relief from Amma. '_That sure went well._' Stan sat on his bed, rather disappointed. Stan must've been discovered, but Stan was so very careful with what he did there and when he did it, not to mention how he did it. Stan didn't leave any suspicious clues behind to show that he infiltrated the principal's office or anything like that at all. Unless Cipher's boss planted a mole... in his own school? "Lame. What kind of an idiot of a boss would do that?" Stan muttered to himself. At that moment, Stan continued reading the letter. It read:

"**DEAR STAN PURITY,**

**We understand that you have chosen Cipher Ciphy School as the school of your choice. However, although you have been studying there for a month, you have failed every single test we had for you. We feel that since you must be special enough to see our school, we had decided to let you stay. However, ever since you came to Cipher Ciphy School, there have been strange cases all over the school and chaos has ensued. We feel that if we let you go to a much better school, our own school and students will be safe. We are sorry to say, but we have had a talk with the principal of Ham-Ham School. We have ALL decided that the privileges and school facilities at Ham-Ham School are most suitable for a _normal _hamster like you. Though the teachers and lessons may be a lot more boring there, you should do fine. We understand that in our own hamster calendar, the last day of school is this Friday. You won't even have time to adapt to a normal school! We hope that you will excel in Ham-Ham School… by helping out the teachers and students prepare for their graduation ceremony. Your step-sister, Sandy Tiger, is also studying in that school. I know you two may not have the same father but don't enroll in a tougher school that is more suitable for special students just because of a silly argument with Sandy. Be a better brother, why don't you? It'll make life less miserable for us.**

**With Regards,**

**Staff and Principal of Cipher Ciphy School"**

That day, Stan couldn't stop groaning and moaning and complaining. His Pokémon had to comfort him but not even his Espeon, Danielle, could comfort him. (A/N: Read my profile for information about Stan's main Eeveelutions team. Details about other Pokémon will be later.) Stan wasn't born as a normal hamster and he never will want to experience the life of a normal hamster at all. He wouldn't like it. Having a life at the club is normal enough for him but he couldn't imagine the thought about going to a normal school teaching NORMAL stuff…

"It can't be **_that _**bad, Stan," Stan's Umbreon, Nightshade, comforted but it wasn't helping. But that statement got Stan thinking, '_Yeah, Nightshade's right. It can't be all that bad. School's ending too, come to think of it. Maybe I could just help around and not do anything after that. Besides, what could possibly happen within just a few last days of school?_'

Stan should've never thought that, because when he went to school the next day, he saw one hamster he didn't dare to see again after their break-up…

"N-n-nur… Nurseham…?"

"Oh! Stannie!" Nurseham exclaimed when she spotted Stan, in his normal form, of course. She went over to greet him. It was the beginning of that school day and everyone was busy with the preparation of their graduation ceremony. Nurseham was on standby in case anyone got injured while setting everything up. "Hi, what are you doing here, Stan?"

"Oh, uh… Well, it's a long story." Stan shrugged, then asked, "By the way, Nurseham, I thought you were in a nursing school. Why have you come here?"

"Actually, I have completed nursing school months ago. Then I enrolled here. It excites me to see everyone so enthusiastic about their graduation night." She then turned to face Stan after looking at the busy students which include the Ham-Hams. "Our teacher told us that there would be a new student here but we have never expected it to be you!" Nurseham giggled. "She also instructed me to take your pulse and report it to her." Stan got very nervous when he heard that. He knew he had no pulse and if Nurseham discovered that and reported it to the teacher, he would be in boiling soup!

"Ahhh, uh… Maybe you shouldn't! I, uh… took my pulse just a few days ago since I wasn't feeling well and the doctor told me I was fine, so no need to worry about that, Nurseham!" Stan lied with a sweat drop on his head. Nurseham made a worried look.

"Better be safe than sorry, Stan! Come, I'll get you into my working ward." Nurseham grabbed Stan who was practically dragged all the way to Nurseham's working ward, begging Nurseham to let him go nervously. Nurseham paid no heed and took Stan's pulse anyway, only to get no pulse rate at all. Her eyes widened in horror. "Stan… Do you have any records of your medical history? I'm worried about you." Stan knew that was coming at him. His ears flopped down and he started to reveal everything about him, only bit by bit, to Nurseham.

"Why should you be worried about me? I'm not your boyfriend anymore. That Doctorigan is," Stan stated rather coldly.

"Stan, I'm sorry about initiating the break-up, but now's not the time for that. Stan, there's something very wrong with your pulse," Nurseham sighed.

"What? You're going to say that it's broken, meaning I'm heartbroken, right?" Stan asked sarcastically and very coldly this time. Nurseham was getting closer to his true identity as a Purifier but Stan had something else in mind…

"No, that's not what I mean! I mean that… Stan, you… You don't **_have _**any pulse…" Nurseham admitted sadly. Stan's heart would've skipped a beat if his heart actually beat in the first place but he didn't show that he was worried about that.

"… So?"

"Huh?"

"Do I look like I **_care _**about that?" Stan asked very very coldly. Nurseham might know his true identity as a Purifier but Stan himself knew Nurseham's true identity as well and it's not that she's one nosey nurse.

"No, Stan, I mean…" Nurseham couldn't take it anymore. She sighed, "All right. I'll be frank with you… Are you… the Pokémon Purifier?" Stan had expected that, but his eyes opened in pure horror.

Pure, pure, **_pure _**horror. Get the irony?

"Stan, tell me! Are you or aren't you?" Nurseham exclaimed with a hint of worry in her voice. "Because depending on your answer… you may lose your life…"

"……… Yes, I am. So, are you going to kill me to please your Grand Master or are you going to let that boyfriend of yours do the dirty work?" Stan had finally revealed what he has sensed about Nurseham.

"But… but how… How did you know I'm…?" Nurseham gasped.

"Of course I know. I **_am _**a Purifier, after all. I sensed the evil aura. That's one of my abilities… To sense evil, and YOU know that, don't you, Cipher Admin Nurseham?!" Stan revealed Nurseham's true identity as a Cipher Admin. Shocked? You shouldn't be.

"Well, then… I know you're not any ordinary Purifier. Grand Master has sensed that too. I will have to get rid of you but I think I'd want to do that later. That'll be more fun. For now…" Nurseham spun around and removed her nurse outfit, revealing her to be wearing a white uniform and two yellow bracelets on her wrists. Instead of the nurse cap she usually wears, she was wearing a black cap with a red 'C' in the shape of a nurse cap. "… I'll report you to Grand Master. I'll take my leave now." Nurseham walked away and after dashing out of the door, she vanished without a trace. Stan ran to chase after her, only to find that she has truly vanished, until…

"Wait! No, Nurseham! Don't jump!" Hamtaro yelled out, running out of the school. Stan who heard that followed outside and found Nurseham standing on the top of the school, preparing to jump. Stan's reaction was indifferent like before, even looking at this situation. Nurseham appeared emotionless and without saying anything, she jumped down.

**Graduation night…**

After Nurseham committed suicide for no apparent reason, everyone at the school was celebrating their graduation, like as if Nurseham didn't commit suicide. Stan, however, was greatly traumatized as Nurseham had died **_because _**of him. It was just like how his father died **_because _**of him. Sometimes, Stan even considered himself a jinx but his Pokémon and Amma would convince him otherwise. Stan couldn't help but feel that those hamsters died because it was his fault. However, he tried to forget the pain on his graduation night, even though he barely even studied at Ham-Ham School. The principal's talk was dull and totally boring. It was a NORMAL talk, after all. And Stan doesn't **_do _**normal.

"Greetings, my fellow staff, students and all parents! I am happy to say that after our students have gone through every school's normal graduation ceremony, our very normal students will become any normal graduate looking for a normal job. We have an alliance with Cipher Ciphy School which is a school for abnormal students. I am overjoyed to hear that a student there has transferred here as he wasn't abnormal at all. He was so normal he has to come here to Ham-Ham School! Let us all give a normal round of applause for this normal student who has normally done his normal work in helping us out! But before you normal hamsters do that, I shall carry on with my normal talk. So, as I was saying……" But before Stan could force himself to hear any longer, he had fallen asleep. Boring talks, boring ceremony, BORING school, boring teachers, boring lessons, BORING books… Stan was **_so _**happy he was going to graduate and not be in such a boring abnormal school. To Stan, normal is very abnormal but being abnormal is very normal.

After that freakishly boring talk, Stan sneaked away and rushed back home to make sure he didn't fall asleep yet again. He found the matter very strange as he remembered what happened when Nurseham fell that fateful day…

**Flashback**

Nurseham kept on falling and falling without stopping. Her nurse cap fell from her head and onto the floor, her hair clip dropping off due to air resistance. Wait! Something weird was about Nurseham's outfit!

**Flashback ends**

'_Wasn't Nurseham wearing that Cipher Admin uniform? How could she have possibly changed clothes and reached the top of the school that quickly? Something fishy is going on here… That can't be Nurseham… can it?_' Stan thought as he ran towards Noel's home to make sure that Noel was sound asleep before he headed for his own home. For the first time ever, he never found Amma's gorgeous 'castle' dull anymore. Boy, he SURE missed the abnormal life as a Purifier!

"Hey, Amma! I'm home!" Stan yelled across the hallway. But, he got no cheerful response from Amma nor their Pokémon. "Amma? Nightshade? Danielle? Fahrenheit? Kilowatt? Vapour? Evolution? … Anyone…?"Stan asked around desperately. The whole house seemed strangely empty but it wasn't.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! My Delcatty's gone!" Amma screamed as a reply after a few minutes. Stan covered his ears as Amma's scream was terribly loud. He ran towards Amma's room, only to see her on the ground, crying a lot. "Wahhh… Delcatty…"

"Amma…?"

"Oh, Stan… Please help… My sweet Delcatty's gone…"

"What happened?"

"Sniff… I signed Delcatty up for this cruise on the S.S. Libra and the cruise was supposed to end hours ago… And I just saw the news…" Amma wiped away some tears before continuing, "And I found out that the S.S. Libra vanished for no reason, ALONG WITH MY DELCATTY!!!!!" Amma screamed again, but it wasn't as loud as before.

"Don't worry, Amma," Stan comforted. "Myuu, Nightshade, Danielle and I will try to look for the S.S. Libra. By the way, where are my Pokémon?"

"Um…" Amma got up from where she was sitting and walked over to her bed slowly, like as if she was trying her best to avoid Stan's question. She paced up and down before walking back to Stan, looking ready to tell him something rather important. "You see… You have a visitor. And she's busily playing with your Pokémon upstairs in the playroom."

"And who would that visitor be, Amma?"

"…" Amma looked away, seeming quite unsure of whether or not she should tell Stan the truth. "Stan… She is your mother."

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A/N: Ooh, suspense… not. I know the school doesn't seem boring and I should change the title of the story but the title is suitable. Why? Because the school **_is _**boring, I just decided to spare you readers the boring boredom. No, frankly, I'm very bad at writing boring stories so I decided to give some boring writing a try and the principal's speech was so boring I nearly fell asleep while typing and mind you, it's only 9 pm here in Singapore and I was writing that speech at 8 pm.

Well, look out for my next story in my Purifiers saga! **My Siberian Mom **will be through Stan's POV about reuniting with his mother. Will he come to accept the fact that he still loves her or will his belief in truth and justice make their mother-son relationship worse? Find out in my next story! This is umbreonrawks, signing off! Oh, and before I forget… Treat your Umbreons with care! … Or else!

umbreonrawks


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